“I Need You to Know”; An outreach statement to my parents by Melinda Jones-Tharpe-Harris.

Tough day!! The very first day of June with a beautiful Ohio summer ahead seems to be the perfect starting point to a brand new life and a more efficient way of looking at my future. As you know, I’ve been researching all facets of PTSD; from my symptoms and how to manage them to what I can expect from those who care for me. This morning I took the first steps to educating my parents in the facts and trends of PTSD. I printed an article I found at Psychology Today online (see link below) and also wrote an outreach statement outlining my view of the current family situation and how I propose to resolve it. I’ve included in this statement the things I will no longer tolerate.

Now I’m scared after leaving the printed materials out for my parents to discover. My heart is racing, my hands are shaking, and the pain that crept into my back as they pulled in the drive is impossible to ignore. So far, I’ve not been approached, but if an overwhelming conflict arises out of my efforts to protect myself, I will be forced to cease communications unless mediated by a professional.

Please keep me in your thoughts as I drudge through this day.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/somatic-psychology/201104/the-lingering-trauma-child-abuse-0

The following is my outreach statement, please feel free to use it as a template should you also be in need of a change. Although, I am not responsible for the outcome of any outreach other than my own. Please use caution when taking a stand and prepare for the worst before committing to do so.

My Outreach Statement:

I will be speaking clinically, rationally, and with educated wisdom pertaining to the disorder I live with every single day of my life. It is imperative that you, as my parents and present care givers, also educate yourselves in the matter of “Living with PTSD”.

Mom – It is my opinion that this situation cannot be resolved without your validation of its affects on me, as both your daughter and a PTSD sufferer. Telling me to “Get over it” will not suffice to regain trust or to help me get past this situation. I need you to accept the fact that your words and actions caused severe anxiety and emotional pain. That is NOT to say that I am disallowing you to speak honestly and openly about your concerns; it is ONLY to say that I expect you to do so in a humane manner and with respect to me as an individual. The following is a list of actions that I respectfully cannot tolerate:

  • Aggressive hand gestures
  • Derogatory sarcasm
  • Laughter at my pain
  • Invalidation of the magnitude of my disorder
  • Analogies that belittle my person and my suffering
  • Refusal to accept my honesty and accusing me of intent or agenda

Dad – It is my opinion that you have failed to meet my needs in a fair manner regarding this situation. To place blame entirely on me is unethical. To make threats as to the loss of basic needs, should I not comply with your demands, hinders my ability to get past this and damages my self-worth. The securities within the relationship of parent and child are most important to repairing my self-worth, even as an adult. If my own parents can’t see me as important enough to listen and be fair, who will? The black and white statements you’ve made; “My protection goes to my wife first” and “My wife can do or say anything she wants”; after my outreach to you for help in resolving this situation are extremely upsetting. Furthering the damage to my self-worth is your practice of talking over me in excess and dismissing my opinions without consideration or acknowledgment. The following is a list of actions that I respectfully cannot tolerate:

  • Daily threats and comments regarding your intention to have me removed
  • Demeaning responses attempting to force my silence such as “Don’t start with me”
  • Any claim that one member of your family is more important than the other
  • Forcing therapy and/or medication by means of threat
  • Refusal to accept my diagnosis
  • Refusal to educate yourself regarding PTSD
  • Attempting to strip me of the right to speak, make choices, and protect myself

I have made this outreach statement in a stable mental condition. I am expecting compassion and empathy from you as my parents and will accept nothing less.

Meli

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Published in: on June 1, 2014 at 4:14 pm  Comments (1)  

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  1. Reblogged this on WorldWright's ….

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