The Written Experience!

Writing has been a means to cage my demons for many years. Hand written letters never delivered, lengthy emails stored on my computer, journal entries embellished with fancy font, and angry poems equipped with imagery are my vices. My cocaine! A talent I have been both praised for and crucified because of. I smile broadly when I envision myself wearing the badge of a word-smith, and I delve into a good book with an insatiable hunger for sensory satisfaction thinking… “I can do that”!

The title of my new blog is a phrase that formed during an episode of frustration, depression, humiliation, and anger. One loud tick of the clock and the realization that I was merely acting out a scene that I was all too familiar with caused me to suddenly turn my own anger inward. In all my glory as a word-smith, I shouted at myself with these words… “And here we go again with PTSD theatre”!

An idea was born that would not see the light of day for many months. I wanted a place where I could be creative, express my emotions, share what I’ve learned, connect with the world on my own terms, display my successes, and show off my talent. I could wallow in my symptoms waiting for someone to take me by the hand. I could continue to fantasize about publishing my work and winning awards. I could even blame the world for not understanding me. But the rational truth is that no one could possibly know what I’m capable of, if I don’t market myself and take the terrifying leap into the world of rejection. And rejection is what’s it’s all about; I’m just afraid.

So, here I am introducing myself to you… the world. As a writer, as an artist, as a photographer, and as a PTSD sufferer. The theme here is far from narrow, as there are many beautiful facets to life, writing, and mental disease. But my primary goal is to publicly announce myself as Meli, an unpublished writer kicking PTSD in the butt, and allowing the world to watch as I rise out of the trenches.


Published in: on August 2, 2011 at 3:23 pm  Leave a Comment  
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